pointy_eared_bastard: (Default)
Clarence ([personal profile] pointy_eared_bastard) wrote in [community profile] huge_fucking_swearing2013-09-13 05:24 pm

(no subject)

HAY GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY I AM TOTALLY DRINKING THE FUCK OUT OF SOME GLENLIVET TONIGHT. WHY? BECAUSE IT'S FRAIIIIYYYDAYYYY FRAIIIIDAYYYY GOTTA GET MOTHERFUCKING DOWN ON FUCKING FRAIIIIDAYYYYY I FUCKING CAN, THAT'S FUCKING WHY.

I MIGHT GO TO PAGAN FUCKING PRIDE THIS WEEKEND, OR I MIGHT STAY HOME AND DO SOME MOTHERFUCKING ART. NOT REALLY FUCKING SURE. I HEARD IT'S GOING TO BE 91 FUCKING DEGREES TOMORROW AND THEN FUCKING RAIN ON SUNDAY (THE DAY OF THE PAGAN PRIDE EVENT) SO IT JUST KIND OF FUCKING SEEMS LIKE A GOOD FUCKING WEEKEND TO STAY FUCKING HOME AND DRINK MOAR SCOTCH.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THIS FUCKING WEEKEND? ANYBODY?

[personal profile] ex_revol580 2013-09-14 12:50 am (UTC)(link)
YOU FUCKING FUCK, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HAVE MOTHERFUCKING GLENLIVET (AKA LIQUID HEAVEN) WHEN I HAVE FUCK-ALL (EXCEPT FOR FUCKING VODKA-AND-GOLDBEARS AND A GOON SACK [THAT ACTUALLY DOESN'T TASTE ALL THAT BAD, I MEAN IT'S FUCKING 'AEROPLANE FUEL' (AS MY GODDAMN DAD SAYS) BUT IT COULD BE MUCH WORSE, LAST ONE I HAD TASTED LIKE A FUCKING FLU GERM IN A COLOSTOMY BAG]). {[(I FUCKING LOVE PARENTHESES.)]} JESUS SHIT I AM LIVID RIGHT FUCKING NOW. WELL NOT REALLY BUT I JUST FUCKING FELT LIKE SAYING IT.

IT IS HEADING FOR EIGHTY-FIVE EVERFUCKING DEGREES HERE ("'STRAYA CUNT" AS THEY BLOODY SAY) WHICH PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE IT'S COCKSUCKING SEPTEMBER YOU SONOFABITCH WEATHER. SEP-FUCKING-TEMBER! WHERE IN THE NAME OF BALLS IS MY PLEASANT WEATHER AND FLOWERS AND SHIT? WHERE?!

SO WHAT ALL THAT FUCKING NONSENSE MEANS IS THAT I AM STAYING THE FUCK AT HOME AND KEEPING MY ARSE OUT OF THE FUCKING GLOBAL WARMING WEATHER AND DOING GEEKY SHIT LIKE CODING SOME WRITING SHIT. I MIGHT END UP SWEARING AT OUR NEW DOUCHEBAG PRIME MINISTER BUT THAT'S NEVER ANY REAL FUCKING FUN BECAUSE THE DONKEYHUMPER NEVER FUCKING HEARS ME. I SUPPOSE I COULD MAIL HIM A LETTER BUT I AM NOT FUCKIN' WASTING 60 CENTS WORTH OF STAMPS ON HIS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE ARSE I AM TELLING YOU THAT NOW.

SPOT THE FUCKING SCOT

I AM SO FUCKING INTERESTING I ASTOUND MYSELF.

DRAG OUT THE FUCKIN' TARTAN, WE'RE IN THE HOOSE.

[personal profile] ex_revol580 2013-09-14 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
FUCKIN' OATH. THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST ACCURATE STATEMENT EVER UTTERED ON SAID PRIME MINISTER SO FAR.

THE ONLY WAY I CAN DRINK THAT FUCKING RUSSIAN MOUSEPISS THEY CALL VODKA IS WHEN IT HAS THESE LITTLE FUCKERS IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BLOODY SHOT GLASS. FUCKING SWEET AND FUCKING ADORABLE IN A KIND OF FUCKED-UP WAY. I THINK I ACTUALLY INVENTED THAT SHIT. I FUCKING ASTOUND MYSELF.

...I THINK I MAY ACTUALLY STILL HAVE SOME LEFT UNLESS THAT BITCH [personal profile] rot ATE THEM ALL.

98% OF ALL BULLSHIT STATISTICS SAY THAT THE FUCKERS WHO STAY AT HOME ON THE WEEKENDS AND DRINK ARE THE BEST TYPES. I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE FUCKING LEARNINGS, OK.

Re: DRAG OUT THE FUCKIN' TARTAN, WE'RE IN THE HOOSE.

[personal profile] ex_revol580 2013-09-14 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
I HAVE A PH.D IN MOTHERFUCKEROLOGY.

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT NOW THERE IS COFFEE ON MY FUCKING MONITOR AND I AM STILL FUCKIN' LAUGHING.

[personal profile] ex_revol580 2013-09-14 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
OH SPEAKING OF SCOTS AND FUCKING SWEARING (I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT) I SAW THIS ON YOU-FUCKIN'-TUBE WHILE LAZING THE FUCK AROUND LAST NIGHT AND ALMOST FUCKING PISSED MYSELF LAUGHING AND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AS WELL. ABSOLUTE FUCKING GOLD.