(no subject)

HAY GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY I AM TOTALLY DRINKING THE FUCK OUT OF SOME GLENLIVET TONIGHT. WHY? BECAUSE IT'S FRAIIIIYYYDAYYYY FRAIIIIDAYYYY GOTTA GET MOTHERFUCKING DOWN ON FUCKING FRAIIIIDAYYYYY I FUCKING CAN, THAT'S FUCKING WHY.

I MIGHT GO TO PAGAN FUCKING PRIDE THIS WEEKEND, OR I MIGHT STAY HOME AND DO SOME MOTHERFUCKING ART. NOT REALLY FUCKING SURE. I HEARD IT'S GOING TO BE 91 FUCKING DEGREES TOMORROW AND THEN FUCKING RAIN ON SUNDAY (THE DAY OF THE PAGAN PRIDE EVENT) SO IT JUST KIND OF FUCKING SEEMS LIKE A GOOD FUCKING WEEKEND TO STAY FUCKING HOME AND DRINK MOAR SCOTCH.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THIS FUCKING WEEKEND? ANYBODY?

(no subject)

SO FIRST OFF I WANT TO SAY FUCKING THANK YOU TO THE MOTHERFUCKERS WHO ACTUALLY POST TO THIS FUCKING COMMUNITY. I WAS GOING TO PROMOTE IT TO MY FRIENDS LIST AFTER I SET IT UP AND THEN MAI WAIFU AND I HAD TO FUCKING MOVE AND SHIT AND THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS HAVE BEEN FUCKING CRAZY BUT NOW THINGS HAVE CALMED THE FUCK DOWN ENOUGH THAT I CAN MAKE A FUCKING POST HERE AND I'LL SEE ABOUT PROMOTING THIS BITCH.

SO IT FIGURES WE WERE HAPPY TO LEAVE LOS FUCKING ANGELES BEHIND FOR A LOT OF REASONS ONE OF WHICH BEING THE HEAT, WE LIVED THERE FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS AND WE HATED IT BUT ESPECIALLY THE WEATHER, AND THIS PAST SUMMER WAS THE WORST FUCKING ONE IN THE SEVEN FUCKING YEARS WE'D LIVED THERE AND I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT I WAS GONNA FUCKING DIE. I HAVE FUCKING DREADLOCKS DOWN TO MY FUCKING WAIST SO I TOLERATE HEAT LESS WELL THAN OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE OF MY FUCKING HAIR (AND NO, CUTTING IT OFF IS NOT AN OPTION, FUCK YOU). SO THE LAST COUPLE DAYS WE'RE IN SOCAL IT ACTUALLY IS COOL AND RAINY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE SUMMER IN ALL THE YEARS WE'D FUCKING BEEN THERE, AND THEN WE GET TO OREGON AND WE'VE HAD A FEW DAYS OF HIGH FUCKING HEAT. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS HAVE BEEN SWEATY AND GROSS AND MISERABLE, AND OF COURSE OUR APARTMENT DOES NOT HAVE FUCKING AIR CONDITIONING, SO I'M FUCKING DYING OVER HERE.

I SWEAR THAT FIERY ORB IN THE SKY HATES ME AND WANTS TO FUCKING KILL ME.

I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT FOR SUMMER TO JUST BE FUCKING OVER. AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SOME MOTHERFUCKING RAIN, BITCHES. PEOPLE ARE LIKE "HURR HURR YOU KNOW THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST GETS A LOT OF RAIN, RIGHT". SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKE RAIN. I'M FROM FUCKING SCOTLAND, I MISS THE FUCK OUT OF SOME FINE-ASSED MOTHERFUCKING SCOTTISH WEATHER. GIVE ME SOME FUCKING RAIN. I LIVED SEVEN YEARS IN THE FUCKING DESERT. I WANT SOME FUCKING RAIN. "HURR HURR IT'S REALLY WET THERE!" YOU DON'T FUCKING SAY? WOW! THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! THE MORE YOU FUCKING KNOW, AND KNOWING IS HALF THE FUCKING BATTLE, AMIRITE? I LOVE HOW WHEN YOU SAY YOU'RE MOVING SOMEPLACE PEOPLE HAVE TO POINT OUT THE MOST OBVIOUS THING EVER LIKE YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW IT'S THERE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE USEFUL IF PEOPLE WERE, LIKE, "YOU SHOULD TRY VOODOO DOUGHNUT" OR "DID YOU KNOW THERE'S A DOC MARTENS STORE" OR SOME SHIT, BUT NO IT'S "HURR HURR RAIN WET RAIN HURR HURR DURR DURR". HOW THESE PEOPLE FUCKING LEAVE THE HOUSE AND MANAGE TO NOT FUCKING GET KILLED OR HAVE THEIR BRAINS FUCKING IMPLODE ON THEM, I DO NOT EVEN FUCKING KNOW. HURR HURR RAIN, DURR HURR HURR, YEAH FUCK YOU I FUCKING LIKE RAIN.

MEANWHILE, THIS HOT WEATHER SHIT BETTER STOP. IT'S LIKE THE SUN DECIDED TO FUCKING TROLL ME AND I AM NOT FUCKING AMUSED.

HOLY FUCK.

HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THIS FUCKING COMMUNITY BEFORE? SWEAR TO FUCKING JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER I JUST LOOKED ON MY EVERFUCKING NETWORK PAGE (WHICH IS BY AND FUCKING LARGE MOSTLY FULL OF SHIT I DON'T CARE ABOUT) AND THERE THE FUCK IT WAS. LIKE, "FEAST YOUR SEEING BALLS ON THIS, FUCKWIT." SO I'M FUCKING HERE AND I'M GONNA FUCKIN' RANT ABOUT PETTY SHIT BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT.

SO. MY NEIGHBOURS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE RIPE BLUE FUCK THEY'RE DOING RIGHT NOW, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE BASHING TWO FUCKING BRICKS TOGETHER AT IRREGULAR MOTHERFUCKING INTERVALS. NOW, ON THEIR ARSE-BACKWARDS PLANET THAT MAY COUNT AS A MAJESTIC FUCKING SYMPHONY OR SOME SUCH SHIT, BUT HERE IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO RAM A FORK INTO MY EARDRUMS. AND SCREAM. THOUGH RAMMING A FORK INTO MY FUCKING EARDRUMS WOULD PROBABLY MAKE ME SCREAM ANYWAY. DON'T MIND ME, I HAVE A MILD CASE OF THE DIPSHITS BROUGHT ON BY WEIRD FUCKING BRICK NOISES.

I'M WONDERING IF THE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO SUMMON SATAN IN SOME KIND OF FUCKED-UP ARCANE RITUAL. IT IS FRIDAY FUCKING NIGHT, AFTER ALL.

JESUS FUCK I WISH THE DUMB CUNTS WOULD JUST SHUT UP. OR GET EATEN BY A WEREWOLF IDK.

...THIS IS QUITE THERA-FUCKIN'-PEUTIC ACTUALLY. I DON'T FEEL QUITE SO MUCH LIKE STABBING A BITCH ANYMORE. FUCKAREE!

(PS: SUPER MASSIVE FUCKING KUDOS IF YOU KNOW WHERE THAT SWEARFUL EXCLAMATION OF GENERAL FUCKIN' YAYNESS COMES FROM.) 
shinyshoes: (Default)
[personal profile] shinyshoes2013-07-21 01:03 am

FUCK ALL Y'ALL

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT NOBODY HAS MADE A GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING POST TO THIS FUCKING COMMUNITY BEYOND THE FIRST GODDAMN FUCKING POST. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES? THIS IS THE MOST BADASS IDEA FOR A POSSIBLY AWESOME FUCKING COMMUNITY THAT I'VE EVER FUCKING SEEN.

SO FUCKING POST, GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING MEMBERS THAT HAVE FUCKING WELL JOINED. I'VE GOT A SHITLOAD OF FUCKING RANTS SAVED UP BUT FUCK POSTING ANY OF THAT SHIT UNLESS THE REST OF YOU BITCHES CAN THINK UP EVEN ONE GODDAMN THING TO POST A MOTHERFUCKING RANT ABOUT.

YOU SUCK GIANT SHITCOVERED DONKEY BALLS, UNLESS YOU ARE FUCKING COOL, BUT HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO FUCKING KNOW ABOUT IT IF YOU DON'T FUCKING POST AT FUCKING ALL? CUNTS.

PH34R MY IMPOTENT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING RAEG, BITCHES

WOW OK LET ME INAUGURATE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS COMMUNITY BY TELLING THE INTERNET WHAT FUCKING SELFISH DOUCHEBAGS FUCKING TEABAGGERS ARE. JUST WHEN I THINK THE RIGHT WING CAN'T FAIL ANY FUCKING HARDER ITS CITIZENS PRODUCE NEW LEVELS OF EPIC FUCKING FAIL. BUT US GAWDDAMNED LEEBRALS ARE THE ONES DESTROYING FUCKING AMERICA WITH OUR ENVIRONMENTALISM OR WANTING PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE FAMILIES OR NOT WANTING PEOPLE TO GO FUCKING BANKRUPT IF THEY GET SICK BECAUSE HEALTH CARE SHOULD BE A BASIC FUCKING HUMAN RIGHT. THEY KEEP SAYING "OH HOW IS THE GOVERNMENT GOING TO PAY FOR ALL OF THAT?" IDEK, MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED FUCKING GETTING YOUR IMPERIALIST BULLSHIT WARS ON WITH THE ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD AND MADE THE FAT CATS IN GOVERNMENT TAKE A FUCKING PAY CUT TO LIVE LIKE THE REST OF US PLEBES, THAT MIGHT GIVE YOU SOME MORE MONEY TO WORK WITH, ASSTARDS